12 Secrets- week 1

January 9, 2009 at 11:05 am 12 comments

It’s week 1 of the book discussion that I mentioned in the previous post.  The book is The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women: a portable memtor by Gail McMeekin.  I bought this book last summer and wasn’t thrilled about it.  It had great content but there wasn’t any pictures or colors to keep my focus.  So I was thrilled when Jamie was focusing on this book.  I really want to study it further and get other’s thoughts on it.  I almost didn’t sign up to participate but realized that I was just being scared.  So I’m doing it!  (Hi everyone that came from the group!)

The first secret is acknowledging your creative self.  I feel that I was a creative child.  I loved to do crafts and often saved things from around the house that had potential to be created into something else.  I was signed up for various classes after school and tried screen printing, clay making and painting.  I moved to Massachusetts in 7th grade and that is when it really stopped.  I was in chorus but it was because my friends were.  I hated art class because it was very structured and I cannot draw realistically.  I discovered boys and that was it until I was pregnant with my first child. 

I taught myself to knit from a book.  I never made it further than the skills to make a funny looking scarf though.  I moved to Arizona and had another child.  With this pregnancy I taught myself crochet.  It seemed easier to me and I occasionally made things.  However the weather isn’t conducive to knits so I stopped. 

Life got messy and I didn’t have time to think more about creating and myself.  It wasn’t until I was alone and pregnant again that I starting thinking about what would make me happy.  I started taking classes to get a degree in Interior Design.  I started dating my future husband and he was much more understanding that I needed something to fulfill myself.  Fast forward a couple of years…  I stopped taking classes about halfway through my second year of classes (I was going part time) because it wasn’t creative enough.  It was very technical and structured and nothing like I imagined.  But I learned some of the principles of drawing, perspective, color theory etc. 

All of this to say that I’m still learning to acknowledge my creative self but it is much easier than before.  Now I know what I’m missing and I just need to figure out my method, my way, my style.  I feel like when I became a mother, I couldn’t ignore it any longer.  I was giving away so much of myself that I needed a way to fill myself back up.  I dabbled until I found blogs and realized that other people live this way.  It was okay to think these thoughts and it was normal.  

I no longer feel guilty and selfish for needing to create.  I do need to work on giving myself time (I have a 7 month old) but I have given myself space.  The house we live in now has an office space.  I claimed it for myself and put all my “stuff” in it.  It is a great room and I have consciencely made the effort to call it my studio rather than office. 

I have never considered myself a writer and actually really dislike writing.  I feel that it takes too long to get my thoughts down on paper and make it understandable by others.  But I have acknowledged that I am a writer to some degree.  I have kept a diary since I was 10ish and now write daily (or almost daily) in a journal.  I like that it doesn’t need to be perfect or even in full sentences.  It just has to be me.

Which really leads to me the end of my thoughts.  It doesn’t matter what I’m creating or how I’m creating it.  It justs need to be me.

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Entry filed under: 12 secrets. Tags: .

Happy New Years! Scared.

12 Comments Add your own

  • 1. pen*  |  January 9, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    hear, hear. this line in particular: “It doesn’t matter what I’m creating or how I’m creating it. It justs need to be me.” yes!!

    i look forward to sharing this journey with you.

  • 2. Lisa  |  January 9, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    It just needs to be me. That’s beautiful. I think it gets to the heart of the matter. I worry about “what others will think” but everyone NEEDS to be creative to BE themselves. Right on wise woman!

    PS A great writing teacher once told me all good writers actually hate writing. It’s like pulling teeth. A famous poet who’s name I forget said it was like opening a vein every time he wrote. So just to say, you’re in good company.

  • 3. peppylady  |  January 9, 2009 at 7:55 pm

    I finding one don’t need a degree to be creative or it not necessary a waste of time either because if you can’t make a living off of it or it has no other functioning then beauty it wasting time as an adult.
    But I’m giving my self to take time and be creative.

    Coffee is on.

  • 4. Genie  |  January 10, 2009 at 7:59 am

    I really was captivated by your love story with creativity. Despite the obstacles and challenges, delays and frustrations, it has begun anew with a happy beginning… “It just needs to be me.”
    Love it! Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

  • 5. lisa  |  January 10, 2009 at 8:50 am

    I’m so glad that you didn’t let being scared stop you from doing this group. My eyes teared up at your last sentence. I look forward to sharing in this group with you.

  • 6. Kathryn  |  January 10, 2009 at 9:27 am

    I think it is wonderful that you are finding time for you at this time when you have a wee one to take care of. I took a graphic design class when my son was small. Looking back when faced with motherhood I had this yearning to be me. I had lost a lot of my interests in the previous five years ~ why do women do this in relationships? I think pleasing others is the answer. Okay I’m babbling in this little white box.

    Like you I find the process of writing to be tedious. I do however like to write in my art journals. You might like my soul journal prompt. See: http://www.collagediva.com/souljournal

  • 7. blisschick  |  January 10, 2009 at 9:47 am

    Actually Red Smith, a sports writer of all things, said:

    “Writing is easy: just sit down at the typewriter and open a vein.”

    Sometimes it IS that. I think for a lot of writers (and I can only speak from personal experience), the act of writing can be agonizing; what we love is “having written!”

    The fact that you are so dedicated to journaling tells me a lot about your calling in this life.

  • 8. Alex  |  January 10, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Your post touched my heart, I have finally realized too that it isn’t being selfish to want to create or do something for myself. Taking that time, even if it is only a little, makes me a better mother, wife, person in general.

  • 9. Sacred Suzie  |  January 10, 2009 at 10:09 am

    Absolutely a beautiful and riveting post. I sense there is much wonderfully rebellious energy in your spirit. Structure drives me crazy too and I’m a visual learner so reading is rough for me as well. I think by working through this group and book together, we can really make big creative changes in our lives. I think you need to get wild and crazy with colour or something…and slap on words here and there. Perhaps the craziness of collage would work for you?! Whatever you decide, I am glad that you are turning that office into a studio and claiming your creative space and spirit. Welcome to the journey!

  • 10. samhallife  |  January 10, 2009 at 10:40 am

    You guys all left tears in my eyes when I read your replies. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

  • 11. Lisa Pijuan-Nomura  |  January 10, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    Great to hear that you found the importance of finding time for yourself. It’s great to hear. So many people don’t give themselves the time or the space for creation! So I applaud you! I look forward to this journey with you!

  • 12. carin.c  |  January 14, 2009 at 10:57 am

    I can SO identify with how becoming a mother you give away so much of yourself. I think that is when it really hit me that I needed to find time for me. I was losing myself bigtime! I did the same thing – turned my office into my studio… my littleguy calls it my “workshop”… I like that too 🙂

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